Why India? Why at all?

When we decided to adopt, we typically received quizzical looks. Why would a couple who got pregnant on their honeymoon go through the rigorous process to adopt a child? What would compel two seemingly sane people to embark on such an expensive, labor intensive, politicized journey? Those are all very valid questions. Questions I have asked myself during periods of self doubt.

International adoption has always seemed very intuitive to me. All of these children in the world who need homes, why not adopt one? Seems relatively straightforward, right? In the US, there were the "orphan trains" during our development. Why not help children in comparable situations today? Am I some bleeding heart crazy person? Possibly, but trust me, I am not that nice.

So, the problem is pretty well-defined. Due to poverty, famine, war and all of the other little niceties we humans allow others to suffer, there are children with no parents. In the West, we are blessed with excess. Why not help someone who needs it? We have been blessed with a biological child. I have had the wonderful experience of being pregnant. I do not have that yearning anymore.

Well, as usual, solutions to human problems are not so clear cut or straightforward. While researching data on international adoption, I came across information from UNICEF, which was unsettling. Often international adoption leads to corruption and a lack of incentive on the part of developing nations to address some of the issues leading to children being orphaned. I have read the frightening reports of children being kidnapped, sold and trafficked. I have communicated with very bitter adults who were adopted internationally and felt they were robbed of their identity. I struggled with the ethics of the large amounts of money changing hands in "processing" fees. Would we be better stewards of this money sponsoring a child who is living in his or her own country with his or her own family? I gave this to God in prayer. It was clear that we were to proceed with adopting.

As for the more global problems, I no longer possess the luxury of youthful arrogance. I can not tell anyone how to best help children in the third world. That is a God- sized problem. I can tell you what he has put on our hearts and that is the end of my knowledge or authority on the subject.

For me, the research is almost an afterthought, but one that is almost impossible to resist. For I am a "Jesus freak" and our family's relationship with God is what drives our decision making. God put international adoption on our hearts. We thought we were meant to adopt from China. We have a huge community of Chinese adoptees in our city, a strong local agency and a niece who will soon arrive from China. Not to mention, China's program is very structured and predictable.

After we went to an orientation for the Chinese adoption, numerous obstacles entered our path. Since we believe in God (did I mention that? :)) , we look for the divine plan in our lives. We decided to put the process on hold. During this time, we both came to India independent of one another. In retrospect, India made perfect sense. There is a vibrant Indian population in our city due to a large employer of high tech talent and our extensive medical community. The church we began attending this year also has a sizable Indian presence. When praying for clarity on this, the signs were as obvious as getting hit over the head.

Does this mean it will be easy? Just because it is God's plan by no means guarantees pleasure. However, we knew it was right which gave us the confidence and conviction to move forward.

This conviction has proven invaluable. Sometimes the resistance we receive from others shows the fear in their hearts. God will use this child to soften hearts. I have put their doubts and fears in his hands. Radical love is threatening. Adoption is committing to love someone who does not share your DNA. Great Uncle Joe can not extrapolate some toddler behavior as being from "his side" of the family. It is a stretch. A stretch of faith and love. Two concepts that are easy to read about, easy to hear about on Sunday but excrutiatingly challenging to bring to every passing moment of our lives. Our family and friends are on their own path which God has chosen, thankfully, to intertwine with our own for his purposes.

So, I know I sound like a "crazy religious person" probably because I am one. It was not always that way so I understand how it could be difficult to read this if you are in a different place in your life. Just substitute the word "love" for "God" and it will be easy to digest.

Well, apparently we were called to one of the most difficult countres from which to adopt. The paperwork and the process have been a real excercise in persistence. I am going to use this blog to chronicle our journey to Nicole. A journey for which we are blessed beyond belief.