Don't get divorced in San Antonio

So if you are randomly trying to figure out where to get your divorce, do not do it here. Apparently the certified copy of my divorce decree was not "recent" therefore I must order a new one. This will take at least ten days. Then it needs to be authenticated. Assuming (remember what your mother told you about "assuming" things?) there would be an online ordering capability, I found the next best thing which was a fax request. To my horrified amazement, they only take Discover. WHAT? You only take Discover? That is like ordering a Coke and the waiter replying "Nope, sorry we only have Mr. Pib."

So, I suppose I am going to have to actually go there between the hours of 8 and 8:15 or some such thing and stand in line to request this from Flo the waitress from "Mel's Diner". C'mon people! Eighth largest city in America!! This isn't Odessa for crying out loud.