The "I" in INS stands for...

Hmmm.....I think the "I" in a certain government agency's name may actually stand for irritating, illogical, irrational or maybe....inept? Possibly incompetent? Could it be infuriating? A vote for idiocy anyone?

Our former INS officer told us to fax in an addendum to our home study and a photocopy of my passport and we would have our I-171H in a week. Well, looks like the relatively normal INS orphan officer has been replaced by my new best friend. I will call him "Junior". Junior is most articulate and very, very motivated. While he is my thorn of the week, I have to give him props for being thorough.

We faxed in our updated home study because the addendum was entirely too complicated a request for our agency. In their defense, it is the better way to go anyway. So, we fax in the updated study along with my passport to prove I am not Japanese. Well, Junior finds the one place in the entire study in which our social worker forgot to replace the word "India" with "Guatemala". Fair enough....I tell him we will get it corrected prior to sending our dossier to get authenticated, but thanks so much for the eye for detail. He informs me that it must be consistent in order for him to do his job. Oh, and my picture on the faxed copy of the passport is too blurry and unrecognizable. He must get an original of the updated study, corrected of course. He also needs a fresh photocopy of my passport. I am waiting for him to say "Surprise! You are on adoption candid camera!" It has not happened.

I left a message for the social worker. She will have to correct the mistake and send it to DIllon to get signed. I will have to make myself a public nuisance in order to get this done in a reasonable time frame. Oh well, being a nuisance is a skill I have honed to near perfection these days. I am so flattered Junior wants a better picture of me. Maybe I will enclose a glamour shot as well.

Just when I was beginning to understand how otherwise sane people are pushed to the brink by idiocy, I received the most wonderful treat in the mail today!!! Updated photos of Alexander! Xander had his lip surgery and the surgeon did a superb job. He is as beautiful as ever and looks so well cared for! I hope I can fill his foster mother's shoes. She has done so right by him.

Dr. Magic Hands

Today we met with Dr. Magic Hands, otherwise known as Peter Wong, and my husband and I got our police letters for Guatemala. Meeting with Dr. Wong was a pleasure and we both feel confident Alexander will receive great care. He is the head of both the UTHSC and Methodist cleft teams. His nurses are very kind too and everyone looks forward to meeting Alexander.

Dr. Wong told us one of his colleagues, who is a plastic surgeon on faculty at the UTHSC, had a cleft. Dr. Wong said it is very realistic to expect Alexander to have a happy and healthy life, barring the fact he has us for parents! :)

So if medicine does not work for Alexander, maybe movies will...I read that Val Kilmer has a repaired cleft lip and palate very similar in nature to Alexander's. We learned that the type of cleft Alexander has, which is on both sides, is actually much easier to repair surgically because it is symmetrical.

Alexander and I have a lot of doctor's appointments ahead of us. Luckily, we have recently met two elementary education majors who would love to babysit Charlie! Our friends and fellow church members have also been very supportive and offered to help in whatever way possible. Once again, we are reminded of just how blessed we are. We hope and pray to meet you soon, Alexander!

Homestudy free of hostage situation

The director of our new agency called a friend of hers at Dillon in order to get some clarification on the $900 fee for changing the country in our home study. Apparently, it was all one big misunderstanding, as I must not have been clear enough the five times I used the sentence "All I need is the country changed", that all I needed was the country changed. Perhaps I had given birth to twins in the last three months or maybe started a neurosurgery residency and did not realize that I needed a full update to reflect the massive changes of the last 90 days. The potential for confusion is endless, really.

Okay, all sarcasm aside, they seem to be cooperating and the new fee is $350. YEA! All of our other ducks are lining up properly, so it is smooth sailing for now.

"Doctor Doctor give me the news"

Today I talked to Dr. Hagan, Alexander's pediatrician in Guatemala. We had an enjoyable conversation as his English is much better than my Spanish! I hope he did not get off the phone with "second language headache" like I do. Of course, with a name like Sidney Hagan it may not be his second. He is on the State Department's list of doctors for Americans in Guatemala, so we feel very lucky he is treating our little guy.

We discussed his medicals and I asked him about his heart. He told me a heart defect is very easy to detect audibly and Alexander's heart sounds great. I then called our pediatrician and she concurred with him and agreed with his assessment of Alexander's stats. Dr. Hagan also covered the various exams he did to rule out other underlying issues which are very rare. He seemed thorough and our pediatrician agreed with his rationale.

I got all of our cover letters and certificates ready to send for authentication. Since our California documents have already been authenticated by the Secretary of State they can go straight to the Guatemalan consulate in San Francisco. My birth certificate will get an authentication in DC then I will send it to the Guatemalan consulate in DC.

Home study issues are tabled until Tuesday. Thursday, we will meet with Dr. Peter Wang, a plastic surgeon, to discuss Alexander's pictures. Eddy and I will both go to the meeting. I feel so fortunate to have such an involved husband. Nothing like being turned down when you offer to go to a doctor's appointment solo! :) Maybe he figures he can talk me in to some plastic surgery while we are there....A two for one special or something. HA!

Alexander

We are planning on proceeding in adopting Alexander! We are very excited and cautiously optimistic. This experience is trying to teach me to take it as it comes, but I am a slow learner.

I guess I should back up a little bit and explain who Alexander is....He is someone we have been discussing and living with for ten days. I say "living with" in that we have been praying for guidance as to if he is our son.

We decided this morning he is our son, so we are going to move forward. Alexander is from Guatemala. His date of birth is 9/16/05. He has the most beautiful coffee colored eyes. His mother is 23 years old and works as a domestic. She is from an Indian village whose name I need to clarify. The village where she is from is Indian, however her surname is Latina. .

He has a cleft lip and palate, so we have been researching the resources in our area and other associated issues. There are two cleft palate teams in San Antonio. One at our children's hospital and a second team at the University of Texas Health Science Center. Both have good reputations and are approximately 5-10 minutes from our home. The children's hospital does a Saturday cleft palate team clinic which is very helpful in our one car famliy.

There is a lot to think about and we appreciate the love and concern of our family and friends. We are blessed to have people who care enough to be involved in our lives. Alexander will certainly be one loved little guy!

So while this is our plan for now, we have to accept the fluidity of this situation. Nothing in adoption is guranteed and I am not going to start fantasizing about his room yet! I just cannot go there.

He had surgery this past Monday. An American surgeon did it free of charge. After my ordeal with the adoption agency, it is really nice to see someone do something kind. I am going to call his Guatemalan pediatrician and get the paperwork from that procedure as well as discuss our list of questions. Then it will be time to consult our pediatrician.

Meanwhile back at CIS, our I-171H is waiting to be finalized. Thank goodness for my illegal alien status or we would have had to go through another round of waiting for our I-171H and paying additional fees. I need to get an addendum or a home study that says Guatemala.

The addendum and the home study change are being held hostage by Dillon and their $900. We have a copy of our study, so technically it is not a hostage,b ut it feels like it! :) Our social worker at Bay Area Adoption Services has a good friend who is a social worker at Dillon. Her friend at Dillon is out of town until the 7th. That is our first plan. Plan B is to have Methodist Mission Home help us with the changes. Our friend Becca is a good friend of the social worker there. So, it looks like one of the two options should be viable.

We need to get my birth certificate authenticated by Passport Services. It also got sent back because I forgot to sign the money order. Then, our marriage certificate and Eddy's birth certificate go to the Guatemalan consulate in the State of California for authentication. My birth certificate goes to the Guatemalan embassy in DC after it is returned to me from Passport Services.

I do not need a divorce decree!!! YIPPEE. I guess the Guatemalan government trusts that I am not a polygamist.

So, homestudy changes get us our I171-H almost instantly, California certificates go to the Guatemalan consulate in CA. My certificate goes to DC and then to the Guatemalan embassy in DC. We go to our doctor for a Guatemalan medical form. Then, it is sent to our attorney in Guatemala and works its way through the court system. Next it will go to the PGN, which is the President and Attorney Generals office. They approve it and his birth mother gets a DNA test. This process usually takes 5-6 months after we get our stuff together. Needless to say my "to do" list is long!

The jagged course

A friend of mine asked me about our adoption journey and mentioned how it seems like we are all over the place. I suppose it does. Eddy and I have thought about our journey and where it will lead.

This reminds me of the writings of M.Blaine Smith, one of my favorite writers on Christian spirituality. He discusses our tendency to think we have it all figured out after being led in a certain direction.

For example, Eddy and I both felt very strongly led to India. We needed to feel that to get us where we are, but we interpreted it as being a peek in to the future.

To explain this further, M. Blaine Smith uses the metaphor of a lantern on a path. We get the light we need to take the next step. The temptation is to believe that we know the path and where it will lead simply because we are certain of our next step. M. Blaine Smith writes:

"When I finally began studying God's guidance in Scripture, I realized how presumptuous I had been to think this way. Again and again, Scripture shows that God rarely, if ever, tips his hand to us about our personal future; he merely gives us enough guidance to take the next step in faith.
Even a man as remarkably mature spiritually as St. Paul seldom knew God's precise intention for his own future. When he writes to the Corinthians of his desire to visit them, for instance, he states, "For I intend to pass through Macedonia, and perhaps I will stay with you or even spend the winter, so that you may speed me on my journey, wherever I go. For I do not want to see you now just in passing; I hope to spend some time with you, if the Lord permits" (1 Cor 16:5-7 RSV, italics mine). In many ways, Paul indicates that his notion of where God was leading him was tentative at best.
Paul was strongly convinced about what God wanted him to do presently--which was to stay and minister in Ephesus. "I will stay in Ephesus until Pentecost, for a wide door for effective work has opened to me," he explains (v 8). Beyond this, though, he was cautious in declaring what God intended for him; he expressed his hopes and desires for the future, but left its ultimate outcome to God."